Posts Categorized: Tweets

Hospitals are magical places where they clean your bathroom at 5:50 AM and the couches are 5’8″ long.

Addie is being admitted to the hospital for the next week or so to run “tests” to see why she hasn’t gained enough weight.

I just decided that Kroger “White Teat & Ginger” hand soap is my favorite smelling soap in the entire world.

Cindy Lauper is on the pink “princess” float in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. Mary asks, “is that the mean step-mommy?”

Who says I can’t learn? I just learned not to eat jalepenos and then pick my nose,

Just burnt my uvula on a jalepeno from my burrito.

Hate,hate, hate the new iPod Shuffle.

Just taught Mary, “Guess what? Chicken butt.” I have nothing left to teach her.

Stuffing rolled pieces of steak up my nose to get rid of the smell of salmon that is filling the house.

RT @awryone: “After all these years, I know I love my wife because when she walks in the room, I still suck in my gut.”